School’s out, sun’s out and all I want to do now is lie on a beach with a raspberry Magnum in one hand and a good book in the other. That’s about as spiritual as things are around here at the moment. I’ve almost forgotten that I am half-way through a spiritual mentoring course and am supposed to be getting a handle on my thoughts.

I haven’t read any spiritual books, inspirational quotes or anything remotely related to the world of self-improvement. I’m gorging on Love Island, I got tipsy on rhubarb gin last night and I’m more worried about how I look in my swimsuit than whether or not I can manifest the life I dream of.

If this was a GCSE course, the teacher would be pulling me aside at this point and telling me that if I don’t pull my metaphorical socks up, I’ll be out on my ear.

Still, I have half a day booked in Marion’s cabin tomorrow, so I’d better start thinking of spirit stuff fast. The last time we spoke, I vowed that I would finish my novel, but I haven’t written so much as a full stop.

There are no end of excuses of course – I’ve taken my dad to hospital appointments, done more washing than the Hilton chain of hotels, ferried kids around, cooked endless meals etc, but I could make time if I wanted to. Six hours of my week are wasted on Love Island, but I cannot give it up…you never know whose head is going to be turned next. Those boys are so fickle, they make Henry VIII look like marriage material.

Perhaps I just need a break. I say I haven’t meditated, but I do make time to just be every day, even if it is only for 5 minutes. It’s usually when I am out with the dog, sat by the Thames in the evening sun. What I’m saying is, even though I am not doing anything spiritual, I am still further along than I was before I started. Marginally.

I have no idea what I am going to say to Marion tomorrow. I might just pass out under a tree and pretend I’m meditating. Until then…