Finding stillness in amongst the chocolate reindeer….

I uttered a sentence this morning, which prompted my husband to bury his head in his hands, laugh and say that I’d better not repeat it in public because it might make me look a) like a spoilt middle class woman untouched by the cost of living crisis and/or b) totally bonkers.

My statement was: “I dropped into stillness in the middle of Aldi and it was fabulous.”

Reading it back, I do kind of see what he means. A couple of years ago, the above quote would have meant nothing to me. In fact, every time my spiritual mentor Marion said the words ‘drop into stillness’ I would sigh with frustration. Often, I’d say: ‘But I just don’t get it’ because I really didn’t.

It took seven months of intense work with her before I understood and it happened with no effort on my part. I had reached the penultimate day of a four-day silent retreat and had just finished painting a nasturtium when KABOOM, I was struck by a universal love bomb and sank into an ocean of sublime stillness. I haven’t had the same intensity of feeling since, but I remember it and more importantly, it demonstrated what dropping into stillness feels like and I’ve been able to do it ever since.

It’s like any skill really in that the more I practice, the easier it becomes and I was probably able to drop into stillness in amongst the chocolate reindeer and giant tubes of Fruit Pastilles this morning, because I have done a Dr.Joe Dispenza morning meditation every day for just over a week now.

Each time I’ve donned the headphones and listened to Dr.Joe’s voice which goes up and down by several octaves in one sentence and is accompanied by pan pipes and a strange throbbing music, I’ve felt a bit anxious and come away thinking that nothing has happened at all.

But something is happening. Good, well paid work has landed on my lap this week. Could that be because Dr.Joe urged me to feel abundant? I have also sensed that stillness is only a breath away, which it is, at all times, only it doesn’t always feel that way.

So, there I was, in the middle of a frenetic supermarket, stood there in a snaking queue where tempers were fraying. I had a choice, I could curse the slowness of the person unloading their shopping or drop into stillness. I chose the latter.

I didn’t really do anything, I simply chose to focus on the present moment, I took a breath and there I was, in stillness, which left me feeling immense gratitude for being alive and lucky enough to be stood there with a trolley full of delicious food. I was grinning like I’d just won the lottery.

If you’re just starting out on your spiritual journey and the idea of ‘dropping into stillness’ makes no sense at all and sounds like woo woo claptrap, don’t give up. It’s there, just a whisper away and if you really want it, it will find you soon enough.

I also bought three chocolate reindeer, but that’s another story…

Leave a Reply